I’ve always had a good level of confidence in myself and in the way I look. I’ve never been the type to say that I’m ugly or fat. My body image was always positive.

But lately, I’m unhappy. It’s not that I think I’m ugly, or anything like that! But I am overweight. My freshman year was a lot of things, but productive in the exercise department was not one of them. Since I quit playing soccer my sophomore year of high school, I haven’t been one to exercise. It’s so boring, and I was used to just being healthy without doing anything but soccer. 

Now, I’m overweight, and the task of losing the dreaded Freshman 15 (try 40, by the way) is like a dark cloud overhead. I want to be healthy again. I don’t care about being skinny, I was never a stick. I’ve always been curvy, but I used to be HEALTHY. I suck at eating healthy and I suck at exercising, haha. 

So today, I’m starting Insanity (again.. I gave up after a week) and tomorrow I’m calling my mom to ask her to sign me up for Weight Watchers. She’s done it before and she’s let herself fall out of it.. she said we can be healthy together. I miss being more confident in myself. I have days where I just want to curl up and cry, and I wish there was an overnight fix. But I know there isn’t, and I know I have to be smart about losing weight the right way.

I just wish I could go back to the way I was.